Confuse-us Rules of Bathroom Etiquette
Behold, the wisdom of Confuse-us! These Sweet 16 Rules of Bathroom Etiquette have been passed down to guide all who seek restroom enlightenment. As revealed in The Legend of Confuse-us book, proper bathroom conduct ensures harmony, cleanliness, and dignity. Ignore these teachings at your own peril!
Confuse-us say...
Bathroom is business, not exhibition
must follow old locked-door tradition.
Confuse-us say...
Man takes us down a rocky road
when never flushing his nasty load.
Confuse-us say...
When bathroom odor is very flagrant
must spray air with something fragrant.
Confuse-us say...
Man who in bathroom too long repose
thinks not of others and it shows.
Confuse-us say...
Nothing makes man quite as mad
as a woman flushing her private pad.
Throw in trashcan, all be glad.
Confuse-us say...
Man who leaves seat up after use
engages in subtle woman abuse.
Confuse-us say...
Who give you right to be so cunning?
Jiggle handle if toilet still running.
Confuse-us say...
Man not wipe seat of pee and poop
must be banished from the group.
Confuse-us say...
Problem I never understand
Man do Number Two as planned
and then not bother to wash his hand.
Confuse-us say...
After from toilet disembark
turn off light and make room dark.
Confuse-us say...
Man needs to wear mask with no complaint
when bathroom odor can peel the paint.
Confuse-us say...
After you wipe keep remnants unseen
use moist towelettes to keep butthole most clean.
Confuse-us say...
If man concerned with dripping pee
stuff TP in drawers for dry dungaree.
Confuse-us say...
If man's turtle head begin to poke
run to John, this is not joke.
Confuse-us say...
Man who wipes bottom with little care
may leave dingleberries in derriere.
Confuse-us say...
He who has bad bathroom runs
need plenty of paper for his buns.
©
These sacred rules, passed down by the wise Confuse-us, shall illuminate the path to proper bathroom etiquette. Heed them well, and thou shalt never face the shame of a soiled reputation.
Yearning for even greater lavatorial wisdom? Unlock the full teachings in "The Legend of Confuse-us: Timeless Bathroom Wisdom from the Ancient Scholar" and elevate thy restroom rituals to a level of true enlightenment.