The Ten Commandments of Bathroom Etiquette

The Sacred Commandments:

1. Privacy is Sacred

"Thou shalt locketh thy door when doing thy duty

For thou shalt never exposeth thy booty."

2. Leave No Trace

"After thou completeth thy dump

Thou shalt not leaveth a brownish lump."

3. Show Compassion

"Thou shalt be kind to thy fellow man

Sprayeth thy room after thou useth thy can."

4. Practice Thoughtfulness

"Thou shalt maketh thy poo

with consideration for others

who waiteth in queue."

5. Rule for Women

"Useth thy trash can, don’t be in a rush

Thy sanitary pads shalt never be flushed."

6. Honor the Seat

"Thou must treateth women kindly and always lower thy seat

She’ll never be angry, as she’ll stay dry and neat."

7. Mind the Handle

"Thou shalt not let thy water gusheth

Jiggle thy handle after thou flusheth."

8. Maintain Cleanliness

"Thou shalt not leaveth a mess all over thy loo

Wipeth thy pee and each Number Two."

9. Practice Hygiene

"Thou must cleaneth thy hands, please giveth some hope

Useth thy hot water and plenty of soap."

10. Conserve Energy

"Thou shalt shutteth thy light off after thy dumpeth

or thine electric bill will really jumpeth."

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These commandments, bestowed upon us by the wise Confuse-us, shall guide thee to bathroom enlightenment. Follow them faithfully, and thou shalt be welcomed in bathrooms far and wide.

Want to learn more bathroom wisdom? Discover the complete teachings in “The Legend of Confuse-us: Timeless Bathroom Wisdom from the Ancient Scholar.”